Jack
Conrad’s Mother
My
name is Mary and I am one of many Mary’s in my family that will bear this name
.But I have a story to tell and a life to share. I am 21 years old, but I felt
so old I feel; like I have been on this earth a long time. My life as a girl
was quite good. I lived in New Orleans and we had celebrations on Sundays and
we were taught about God and prayers. I even had a pair of shoes. My mom was
very fair and beautiful and she was the housemaid of a very rich family. The
family that owned us had many children and they lived in the Quarters. I had
simple tasks to do as a girl. I don’t remember working hard, but I guess they
kept me busy. The older girls were very
nice to me and told me how pretty I was. I am not sure who my father was; I
don’t remember him being a part of my life
Life was good until I started growing up. The
white men who would come to visit my owners would look at me different. My mom
tried to keep me looking young with my hair in plaits and my clothes big, but
that helped for a while. Eventually everything changed and by the time I was
fifteen my life was changing drastically. I had a brother who was hired out to
work for some other white people, so we seldom saw him. My mom was afraid she
was going to lose me also and her fears were tested many times. The pain my mom
knew was a way of life for people like us. We didn’t have control of our lives;
even our minds were controlled to an extent, but our spirit was always strong
and free.
Now
life has taken me to a strange place. This place is small but the people seem
to be nice, but you never know about white folks; they may smile in your face
and sell your babies during the night. The man and lady who just brought me are
looking at me quite queer; they ask me my name and names of my two children. My
baby is just six weeks old and my other son is three. I have not even given my
baby a name. I have been in so much pain and trying to figure out why and where
I was headed. I was the property of a man in New Orleans and he treated me ok,
but I was his property. I had his children and politics has forced him to move
back to Europe, so he found a place for me in this place. He could have given
me my freedom and I could have become one of the many free people of color in
New Orleans.
There
are not many slaves here. I only counted five. (Cailluett Plantation archives)
Yes
I have limited reading and counting skills. My new owner is Jacque Caiilluett.
And his wife is name Maria Clara.
She
likes my baby and called him Jack; I guess that will be his name.
An older Black woman also meets us at the gate
: ” Girl, pick up your things and go with Mamie to that house! I was brought for $1000; me and my two
children. The price seems cheap for three lives, but the owner is probably
doing my former owner a favor by taking us in because it seems like this place
does not need any more help. “Move faster and give me that baby; acting like you is lost; you gon be alright here, I am gon
take care of you til you can work. Beautiful baby; daddy must be a white man;
that’s alright; we’ll still love him. Love will make him strong.” Mamie kept
talking, but I was so tried, I sat down in the cabin and went to sleep.
I
slept all night and when I woke up the next morning; the lady of the house was
sitting in the cabin holding my baby. I was scared at first. But she kept
talking to him and rocking him and I felt he was safe because she was kind to
my baby. Jack was very fair, but Telsamo
was darker , but with slow dark hair and very handsome. Jack had grey eyes and
I was hoping she did not think this was her husband’s child. She sort of took
to him and Mamie looked at me from the corner of her eye for me to take my baby
and feed him. Mamie was docile, but wise. She took me to hold on to my baby and
let the lady know I loved him more than she did.
This is such a quiet place; the other slaves are
moving about their chores ; two women in the yard, one in the house and the two
men are in the small field. I sat on the steps of this humble shack with my
baby and fed him. Jack was a gentle baby with a good disposition. Telsama was
playing in the yard in front of me. What can a woman with 2 babies do on this
plantation, but eat and grow strong to work hard.
Mamie
calls for me to get up and help her with the washing. I am still weak , but I
put Jack on my back and move towards the tubs. Mamie talking loud, “Girl, git
over here and put them clothes on the line; I knows you ‘s weak, but you got to
earn your keep; she winks at me; asif to let the owners know I am working. She
is talking loud enough for everyone to hear. But you know this maybe her way of
helping me. I move slowly-trying not to wrestle with these wet bundles. I
stumble and almost fall and I felt Mamie’s arms cradle me; she sits me down
without saying a word-takes the clothes from me and hang them up and saying
loudly, “ you did a good job, before long you will be strong enough to do the
laundry by yourself and I can stay in the kitchen; she winks at me again as I
sat on the ground in dismay. I feel like I have an ally for me and my children,
but only time will tell.
A
few minutes later, I feel a little stronger and I walk back to the tub of
clothes and as I whisper “thank you” to Mamie, I pick up a bundle of wet
clothes and move towards the line. I hear Mamie talking loud,’ alright , watch
Jack on your back, that baby looks like he grew overnight; that country
air makes him strong.” Soon as Mamie
said that , the mistress had come out on the porch , “Mary , let me hold Jack
while you hang those clothes.”
The
mistress seems to love Jack. I wonder if she has lost a baby or if she wants a
baby. She seems a little old, but maybe Jack reminds her of a baby she lost. I
walk towards her and sit Jack in her arms. I know she will protect him; he will
never see a whip on his back as long as she is alive. We keep working and Mamie disappears into the
big house and start cooking. She tells me to sit on the steps and she will
bring some potatoes for me to peel. The mistress is still holding Jack. Telesmao
is playing in the dirt. There are a few children on the plantation, but none as
young as my children. It is the end of summer, but it is still very warm. As I
peel the potatoes, My body needs to feed Jack and I tell the mistress I need to
fed Jack. She hands him to me and tells me ‘careful with ‘my Jack’. I am still
tried from life, but I am life and what journey life has taken me. I had my first baby at 17 which is not
uncommon for slaves and my children’s
father was the slave master who owned me. He had many children from his wives
and my relationship with him was about
sex, not love. I did not experience love with him, but he did give me a home
and I was treated pretty decent. He gave me something more than love; he let me
keep my children, who are my most precious possessions. My children father
brought me from New Orleans to a small town in St. John the Baptist Parish. He
had a large family and he had a wife and many children, Some of his children
died as infants. His first wife died
before I was born and he married a second time and his second wife did not have
any children. When I came to the plantation he was on his third wife. His
plantation was small only 13 slaves while I was there. He was moving and trying
to sell all his belongings. But I am thinking he had other businesses or maybe
another plantation with many more slaves. But that is not my plight. My most
important reason for living is the two little boys that are enslaved like me. I
have to figure out a plan that will keep us together and make sure they grown
up to be strong men.
Jack
is growing more and more like his father in image, but he has a constant cough
that maybe asthma. We don’t have any clothes, just the clothes on our backs.
The mistress of the house has a little girl between Telesmao and Jack’s age.
She gave the old lady who I live with some clothes for Jack. At this age it
does not matter what kind of clothes he
wears, just so he has some clothes to keep him warm. I manage to make a shirt
for Telesmao. My children don’t have shoes; that is heartbreaking because I
remember shoes when I was small. But this arrangement was suppose to be a
better life for me and any children I might have. But here I am on a small farm
not a free woman of color but enslaved and sold into slavery with my children. What kind of man would do
that to his children and the mother of his children? But I must protect my sons
as best I can. I must teach them to work hard, to maintain their freedom of
spirit but to disguise it . I will try to tell them stories of my family and my
history what little I know.
The
old lady is calling me to get some chores done. I put Jack down and remember I
am a slave; I belong to someone else and I must move when they say move, walk
when they say walk, talk when they say talk. What a life! But what a life for
my sons. I must stop thinking in the day time and save my thinking for night.
“
Finish feeding our baby, Jack, ; let me hold him while you finish the washing
and put those vegetables on the kitchen table.
Hey, baby Jack, you gon be alright, Big Mama gon make sure you grow up
strong. I;; tell you the secret to survival on this here place.” She goes on talking
to Jack as if he understood. Her. “My babies are all gone, some in heaven and
some in land I don’t know nothin about. I had three boy babies and they is all
gone. When they made ten Master sold them for money; you see this place was not
rich then and my boys were big and strong for their age. They were dark and big
and Master sold them, but you, Baby Jack, you so pretty, like a white baby and
they gon love you round here and I gon teach your mama how to git them white
folks to keep you here and not sell you. “ She rocks Jack and start singing to
him”. Telesmoa is playing in the dirt. He is too small to work, but time will
come soon when he will be put in the field to work from dawn to dusk,
Stop
thinking and keep working. After finishing the wash, I go into the kitchen to
put up
the
vegetables and a pretty little girl about 2 or 3 comes in and ask me for a
fruit. I call for Big Mama because I don’t know what to give her.
The
little girl was name Clarissa and she was almost the same color as Jack. I
guess that’s why the mistress loved Jack so much; he reminded her of her own
baby. Clarissa would grow up with Jack and they would play together sometimes
until it became noticeable that Jack was a slave.
But
not to get ahead of the story, Big Mama came quickly up the steps and peeled a
banana for the little girl and she went back into the house. Big Mama went back
on the back steps and picked up Jack who she had laid on the clothes she was
folding. I came behind her and tried to take Jack, but she told me to finish
the clothes and she would care for Jack. I couldn’t understand why Jack was so
important to everyone who held him; it was a sign that he was meant to do
something great. Maybe I would live to see it and maybe not, but God knows to
protect him for whatever he is meant to do.
The
summer was getting warmer; even though it is summer year round in Louisiana
especially in this part of the country. I hope I don’t have to go into the
sugar fields; that looks like hard work. I guess I’ll be safe until Jack is a
little older. The sun is rising high in the sky, so I must move faster and get
these clothes on the line. Big Mama ask me if I can cook. “Girl, can you cook
because we gotta find a place for you while you is nursing Baby Jack “. I shake
my head no. “ What can you do?” she said laughing. I answered, I can sew a
little. Her eyes opened wide and she smiled, “I think you are going to be
alright she starts laughing; you hear that Baby Jack, your mama can sew; Lord,
Have mercy; she gonna be in the big house and Baby Jack , you gon be in there with her."
Any
skill that a slave has is good. My mom taught me to sew as a child. I would
learn to thread the needle and make
straight stitches when I was 3 or 4. I was able to sew seams for my mom when
she made dresses . That’s how I became playing with the white girls in New
Orleans. My mom would be measuring them for dresses she would make and I would
be with her .
My
life in New Orleans is all a dream now. I must learn to think and act as an
enslaved woman, so I can protect my children. I am small and frail and not of
much use to a man, but a skill to sew may save my life.
Lady
Caillouett comes to the back door checking on Jack; he is such a good baby, not
fussy and trying to laugh; she tells Big Mama to bring her Jack. She looks at
him and turn to look at me; I put my head down and pretend I am busy with the
clothes.
